Appropriate Enthusiasm

 These are The Dads

Of the hundreds of pictures I have on my computer, and on my phone, there are pitifully few pictures of The Dads. And of those few, most of them are taken while they're doing stuff like WORKING. You know, "Dad Stuff". Real dad stuff. In a perfect world, Dad Stuff would be bike riding and fishing and building bird houses all the time, but this world isn't perfect. 

I have always believed that there isn't a Dad in the world that's truly fit to be a Mother. And it's true. They prove it time and again. Oh sure, they can keep a kid alive for as long as they need to- feeding, bathing, homework, piano practice... But the stuff they do best, really, is the Dad Stuff. 

Dads are there to field all the crap that overflows our plates. "How does a compass work", "I have to build a volcano for school...by tomorrow", "The chain came off my bike", "Why does Grandma make that sound when she's sleeping".... These are the things that Dad's are supposed to be for. "Go ask your father" (or your uncle Jim, Chris, Sam, Aaron....)

And then I think about all the moms out there who don't have anyone to farm that stuff out to. And that makes me sad. And that makes me appreciate what we've got all the more.

I'm so thankful for all the Moms in my life. There's no way I'd be able to manage without them. But I have to remember to thank all the Dads- without them, (we'd be poor) there would be no last minute lampshade volcanos, a bunch of broken bikes, and I'd have to figure out how stuff works so I could explain it.

So, thanks guys. We love you.

So Long and Thanks for Taking Leftovers- or, "Whaddya MEAN you don't like PIE?"

I didn't take one single picture. FACK. I had 27 people for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday...I FED 27 people! Yes, I farmed out a great deal of the extra work, the brusselsprouts, the rolls, the potatos, the rice but I cooked a gigantic turkey, and some more sides... It was awesome. I LOVE FEEDING PEOPLE! I love being able to fill my house to bursting with friends and family and loved ones. I love the chaos and the sounds of laughter and mess. And when you have good friends, the laughter carries on while the mess begins to dissipate at the end of the meal. By the time everyone was either gone, or settled in for the drinking and shenanigans, there was no evidence that nearly 30 people had just overrun the place. Just a bit of a mess. It was a total win. So this is me giving my self a gold star, and a great deal of thanks for all the totally terrific people who are a part of my life.

To all you Canucks out there, Happy Belated Thanksgiving- and to my Southern friends, I hope yours will be as awesome as mine.

So darkness I became.

Taken from my back porch about 2 weeks ago at 6:57 am- this was just a tiny glimpse of a stunning sunrise. Now, only a few days difference, we're beginning the descent into the forever darkness of winter. The curse of the Northern Life. We will have a small respite when the time changes, but in the meantime, our daylight hours are dwindling. Under 12 total hours today, and come December 20, we will be shrouded in blackness with a meagre 6h 45m of actual daylight. Get up in the dark, come home in the dark. The kids get a bit of a break- At school, they kick them out for recess and lunch (provided it's not colder than -20).

But woe to the solar powered beings! Stumbling around in the dark, it's often hard to be sure I'm actually awake; that my day is really supposed to begin, when the Sun itself can't be bothered to hoist itself above the horizon. And when it does, it grumbles and casts a pitiful weak light- no warmth, just a thin, watery imitation of it's summer splendour.

So for now, we will have to soak up what we can. And take pictures to remind us that "this too shall pass".

(ugh).

We Are Wive. Resistance is Futile.

Tell us... how do we like our new outfit?

OK, to hell with the Super Mom. I believe it takes a community to parent a child, and in my life- my circle of family and friends- I have that. We practice that. The Mom is/are an unstoppable collective and as one, we can wrangle all the little ones with a skill and savvy that make all the lonely little supermoms out there look like bums. Oh yeah, we're that good. There are some things that I genuinely HATE doing with the kids, but there's always another one of us who loves it. And I get to be the go-to for some things that the other mom's cant/don't want to do. No matter the matter, there is always someone to pick up the slack. We ROCK the community parenting.

But if the community parenting model is such a hit, why can't we extend that... to the HUSBANDS? Oh I'm not talking about swinging and swapping; I'm talking about "My old man SUCKS at this, can I borrow yours?". See, most men seem to have about 4 out of 10 critical skills and the willingness to exercise them at any given point. And for the right motivation, (usually cookies or appropriate enthusiasm), will whip out those "skills" and blow all the OTHER women away with their magnificence. See... the OTHER women. Some of my Wive Hive, myself included have husbands that are exceptionally awesome at (nearly) everything... if we could just get them to DO anything at all other than take up space and antagonize us.

And that antagonism and atrophy of skills is what's killing the machine here. Some of you might have one of those rare beasts in captivity- the ones that always pick up after themselves, like to get up in the middle of the night  and hold vomit buckets under children... But most of us are stuck with the guys that are tired of our nagging and honey-do lists, and will go over to another Wive and spend the day showing off and being awesome. I'm stuck with one of them myself. You can have him. He can build stuff, he's very strong, and he makes killer waffles. Give me yours if he can hang pictures, help start the garden and knows how to load a dishwasher? We can trade back when they tire of all our baked goods and flattery!

I Am Not Having This Conversation With You

I had this great post all ready to go about the conversational minefield I have to navigate in my relationship... All the things we can't discuss without fighting. Then I remembered I told someone recently that "I complain too much". And I do. But I'm not in the mood to dig through my bitter basket for nice things to say either. So I won't.

I have many people and things to be grateful for in my life. So I should just do like I always have and suck it up and reload the goddamn toilet paper.

I guess this is why we don't have hobbies?

I woke up this last Sunday completely overwhelmed by an urge to ESCAPE my life for a day. By 11am, I had bailed on my husband and son to go to church (yeah, I do that sometimes) and see my friend play in the band (yayforgeeks). With 5 minutes left of the closing set at the end of the service, I get this 911 text from another friend; They had been camping at the lake- "we need help! We SANK THE BOAT". 

After 2 stops for some tow straps and shackles, some pumps and hoses and an extra body, we arrived at the lake to see what  could be done.

"Oh dear, well, that doesn't look sooo bad..."

"Wait- yes it does... that's BAD"

Amidst all the chaos and panic, we had SPECTATORS! YAY! ; the guy on the left is the conservation officer (this is in a Provincial Park). The handsome fella there in the middle was just a random jackass (one of many that day) who thought his $19.99 Internet Degree in Applied Engineering might come in handy. He was helpful in a way- if you stood behind him, he could block the wind and spray (but the glare off his fat bald head totally ruined the view).

The pump would have worked REALLY WELL... except every 7-8 waves, 3 more would come over the board and fill the whole boat in 15 seconds. It still helped some... until they sucked up a shirt.

Plans "A" thru "M" were scrapped around the 3 hour mark.

Plan "N-2" was a dual attack- start backing the trailer under the boat WHILE winching the boat onto the trailer (yes, this sounds pretty normal, except there were also several hundred gallons of water IN the boat and it was sunk right into the silt and mud and crap at the bottom- it wasn't prepared to budge)  At this point, our buddy had pretty much given up on the damage control and just wanted the boat out of the water. It mostly worked, pretty much mostly...

 After several attempts at repositioning the trailer so we could drag everything out without taking half the dock...  

Oh, THAT'S what all that crunching and snapping was... 

WE'RE OUT! (and random jackass on the right)

It took about 6 hours, not counting all the time our buddy spent before we arrived breaking winches and stuff trying to do it on his own. 

I was so tired! All that watching and standing and heckling... (I got to carry some stuff and at one point even operated a roll of tape!) I didn't even think to take a picture of the carnage inside the boat once all the water was out. But that was just plain SAD to see. 

By the time we dropped everything off and collected my van from where I left it, it was almost 11pm. 12 and a half hours earlier, I was just thinking I would rather stab myself in the face than spend the day at home! Imagine that! Thanks Russ! And I'm REALLY sorry about your boat!

Where the Cat is Not (pic heavy)

This is Mister Chevchev. 

Mister Chevchev is a seriously cool cat. Like, actually, the most Chill Beast I've ever had the pleasure of having around. He came to stay with us and brought his human companions; my brother, his wife, and their daughter for a few months. And these are some of his little adventures.

Now, normally, we don't get to have Kitties. I have allergies, and my husband has The Hatred, and ultimately,  I've discovered I'm not that fond of cats in general... But this guy was so laid back that most of the time, you'd never know he was there- in fact, he was actually everywhere- sometimes even in more than one place at a time! We took to calling him "Transdimentional Kitty". My Facebook Friends know him best as "Where the Cat is Not"; the first time he was busted somewhere strange I had said "Now, I don't have a cat, and if I did have a cat, he wouldn't be there" and that's where it all started.

(click on the "read more" link to see all the awesome pics)