Quality Time

And the merits of travelling with people who "get" you...

"My, what a huge lightsaber you have there"

I just returned from 11 days away with my family. 11 long, busy, totally overstimulating, intense, frustrating days of "FUN". Hey, I'm fun, I can have a good time, I'm actually one of the most fun people I know. Ask my friends! But I'm also a bit of a spaz. Add a group of non-smokers, a bunch of NOISE, some crowds and a tight schedule, and I become less and less fun as the day wears on. And ultimately, I end up feeling like (and acting like) a total jerk because I can't handle the over-stimulation and excitement, and ruin it for everyone else.

So glad we could make it- The fireworks at the end of the first day.

Disneyland was huge. It was noisy, it was crowded, it was spectacular, and I wish I had MORE time to spend there. (5 days wasn't nearly enough). I wish I had gone with more people, it would have helped spread the spaz out. As it was, we hurried through the nicely designed cattle chutes, from one attraction to the next, and often, my husband forgot to make time for us to sit down and EAT. Lunch was always after the next ride, the next show, just after this or that. He was SOOO excited the first day that more than once, he forgot to check whether we were even behind him before taking off into the crowd on his way to the next thing.

I get it, it's freaking DISNEYLAND- I was supposed to be shaking and weeping with awe and anticipation at the gates. My husband and his family have been there like 5 times, and he's brought previous girlfriends, and they've all been trembling and wide eyed and bubbling with joy. Yep, I had to ruin the streak didn't I? I wanted to cry, but not like that. I wanted to tear off all my skin in the middle of Main Street USA and scream and scream and scream.

Top down, tunes cranked, can't talk- choking on the wind in the back 

 It was fun to see my husband get that excited about, well, anything. I loved the look on our son's face when we got there. But my favorite moments were the ones in between everything. The stop and smell the roses kind; watching the fireworks, cruising the freeway with the top down and the music loud. My first decent cup of coffee in 4 days... Our shortest excursion was Lego Land, and we put the 8 year old in charge, we slowed right down.

 Once in awhile, I forgot myself and relaxed. Whatever remains of my inner child broke through and I just had a good time. My son and I did Star Tours like 10 times, and my husband and I rode Space Mountain over and over and over again. We got to see my FAVORITE sister get married in Palm Springs, it was beautiful, and we had a chance to reconnect with some long lost loved ones.

Yes, it was the moments in between all the excitement and the madness- those were the most fun for me. Maybe next time I'll go by myself?

'But it's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insa-a-aane"

Appropriate Enthusiasm

 These are The Dads

Of the hundreds of pictures I have on my computer, and on my phone, there are pitifully few pictures of The Dads. And of those few, most of them are taken while they're doing stuff like WORKING. You know, "Dad Stuff". Real dad stuff. In a perfect world, Dad Stuff would be bike riding and fishing and building bird houses all the time, but this world isn't perfect. 

I have always believed that there isn't a Dad in the world that's truly fit to be a Mother. And it's true. They prove it time and again. Oh sure, they can keep a kid alive for as long as they need to- feeding, bathing, homework, piano practice... But the stuff they do best, really, is the Dad Stuff. 

Dads are there to field all the crap that overflows our plates. "How does a compass work", "I have to build a volcano for school...by tomorrow", "The chain came off my bike", "Why does Grandma make that sound when she's sleeping".... These are the things that Dad's are supposed to be for. "Go ask your father" (or your uncle Jim, Chris, Sam, Aaron....)

And then I think about all the moms out there who don't have anyone to farm that stuff out to. And that makes me sad. And that makes me appreciate what we've got all the more.

I'm so thankful for all the Moms in my life. There's no way I'd be able to manage without them. But I have to remember to thank all the Dads- without them, (we'd be poor) there would be no last minute lampshade volcanos, a bunch of broken bikes, and I'd have to figure out how stuff works so I could explain it.

So, thanks guys. We love you.

So Long and Thanks for Taking Leftovers- or, "Whaddya MEAN you don't like PIE?"

I didn't take one single picture. FACK. I had 27 people for Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday...I FED 27 people! Yes, I farmed out a great deal of the extra work, the brusselsprouts, the rolls, the potatos, the rice but I cooked a gigantic turkey, and some more sides... It was awesome. I LOVE FEEDING PEOPLE! I love being able to fill my house to bursting with friends and family and loved ones. I love the chaos and the sounds of laughter and mess. And when you have good friends, the laughter carries on while the mess begins to dissipate at the end of the meal. By the time everyone was either gone, or settled in for the drinking and shenanigans, there was no evidence that nearly 30 people had just overrun the place. Just a bit of a mess. It was a total win. So this is me giving my self a gold star, and a great deal of thanks for all the totally terrific people who are a part of my life.

To all you Canucks out there, Happy Belated Thanksgiving- and to my Southern friends, I hope yours will be as awesome as mine.

So darkness I became.

Taken from my back porch about 2 weeks ago at 6:57 am- this was just a tiny glimpse of a stunning sunrise. Now, only a few days difference, we're beginning the descent into the forever darkness of winter. The curse of the Northern Life. We will have a small respite when the time changes, but in the meantime, our daylight hours are dwindling. Under 12 total hours today, and come December 20, we will be shrouded in blackness with a meagre 6h 45m of actual daylight. Get up in the dark, come home in the dark. The kids get a bit of a break- At school, they kick them out for recess and lunch (provided it's not colder than -20).

But woe to the solar powered beings! Stumbling around in the dark, it's often hard to be sure I'm actually awake; that my day is really supposed to begin, when the Sun itself can't be bothered to hoist itself above the horizon. And when it does, it grumbles and casts a pitiful weak light- no warmth, just a thin, watery imitation of it's summer splendour.

So for now, we will have to soak up what we can. And take pictures to remind us that "this too shall pass".

(ugh).

We Are Wive. Resistance is Futile.

Tell us... how do we like our new outfit?

OK, to hell with the Super Mom. I believe it takes a community to parent a child, and in my life- my circle of family and friends- I have that. We practice that. The Mom is/are an unstoppable collective and as one, we can wrangle all the little ones with a skill and savvy that make all the lonely little supermoms out there look like bums. Oh yeah, we're that good. There are some things that I genuinely HATE doing with the kids, but there's always another one of us who loves it. And I get to be the go-to for some things that the other mom's cant/don't want to do. No matter the matter, there is always someone to pick up the slack. We ROCK the community parenting.

But if the community parenting model is such a hit, why can't we extend that... to the HUSBANDS? Oh I'm not talking about swinging and swapping; I'm talking about "My old man SUCKS at this, can I borrow yours?". See, most men seem to have about 4 out of 10 critical skills and the willingness to exercise them at any given point. And for the right motivation, (usually cookies or appropriate enthusiasm), will whip out those "skills" and blow all the OTHER women away with their magnificence. See... the OTHER women. Some of my Wive Hive, myself included have husbands that are exceptionally awesome at (nearly) everything... if we could just get them to DO anything at all other than take up space and antagonize us.

And that antagonism and atrophy of skills is what's killing the machine here. Some of you might have one of those rare beasts in captivity- the ones that always pick up after themselves, like to get up in the middle of the night  and hold vomit buckets under children... But most of us are stuck with the guys that are tired of our nagging and honey-do lists, and will go over to another Wive and spend the day showing off and being awesome. I'm stuck with one of them myself. You can have him. He can build stuff, he's very strong, and he makes killer waffles. Give me yours if he can hang pictures, help start the garden and knows how to load a dishwasher? We can trade back when they tire of all our baked goods and flattery!